The Grand Purge Project, and How Do You Spot the Breeders?
I was talking with my friend, Nancy, the other day and mentioned we had just had the dumpster delivered for our Love It or Lose It project. I told her this is a project we’ve done every time we moved but we somehow seem to keep the breeders as we are full-up once again. We’ve lived here 8 years now, filled a dumpster before we moved, and yet still moved a crap-ton of stuff that we haven’t touched since then. We’re not moving, but we’re finally sick enough of having a lot of space, indoors and out, that we can’t use. So the game is on and it’s time to be merciless.
Here are some of the Best Practices we’ll be using in case you’re of a mind to kick off your fall season with a grand purging as well:
1. Size Matters: Don’t believe what they say—size does matter. Forget those wimpy little dumpsters that only hold about 10 garbage bags. This is the time to go big or go home. We had a 30-yard one delivered. Photo for perspective, but the measurements are 22 feet long, 8 feet wide, and 6 feet tall. We are not messing around. Since we are tackling a 2-car garage (that has no room for a bicycle, let alone a car), a full carport (also no car in there), two full sheds and our beyond-full basement, the goal is to fill this sucker to the brim. Given what they cost, I want my money’s worth, so the biggest one gives us the most incentive to be ruthless. That empty corner over there? That’s $100 worth of dumpster space. Fill that baby up.
2. No, People Do Not Want Your Crap:
Someone will surely want these plastic logo beer glasses from every festival or event we’ve attended over the last 25 years. We should donate them! And look! Here are the 500 t-shirts that match the beer glasses! I know they have holes, but someone will want them for rags. We should donate them! This fondue set from 1972 that looks like it came from a Scratch and Dent Sale? Fondue is back in now, you know. Someone will want it and fix it, and we should donate it! And on and on and on….
The answer is Nope. No one wants any of it and not even the most hard-up charity/resale store will take it. Into the dumpster you go.
3. Save That for a Garage Sale: See No. 2 above. If people don’t want your crap for free, they certainly don’t want to pay for it. And really, how many hours sorting, cleaning, labeling and displaying—then buying signs and putting them out and devoting two entire days of your life—are you willing to do in order to make $62.37? Into the dumpster you go.
4. Love It, Use It or Lose It: We started this process years before the “Does it bring you joy?” trend. If we don’t truly love it or use it at least once every year (like holiday stuff), it goes. But, as mentioned at the beginning here, we haven’t been as ruthless as we could, given the sheer amount of stuff still here that does not fall into those two categories. “What if we need that someday” and the ever-present Sentimental Stuff categories are truly the breeders that will multiply exponentially the minute you turn your back. How else would you explain the 16 boxes of documents relating to my parents’ bills and records that are currently in our basement when my stepdad passed away in 2011 and my mom in 2019. I think we are safely past the point where any of that will ever be needed for any reason whatsoever — so into the dumpster they go. (And the same goes for everything in the “but that’s a good box” category. Yes, it’s genetic. I inherited it from my mother, and I know there are others of you out there. You get it.)
5. Sentimental Stuff—Rip Off the Band- Aid: Here’s truly the hardest category of stuff. First, we all have gifts given to us by people whom we love dearly, but we do not love the gifts dearly. Now they all take up a lot of space and yet we feel obligated to keep them “Great Aunt Martha gave me that granny square toaster cover back in the ’80s, you know. I can’t throw that out.” (I have neither a Great Aunt Martha nor a granny square toaster cover. Names and gifts have been changed to protect the living.) I do, however, have a practically life-size oil painting of my great-grandmother and great-grandfather, whom I grew up with and absolutely adored. It was a commissioned painting and hung over their mantle for years. Over the years and through generations it has worked its way to me and has been leaning against a wall in the basement with other never-to-be-hung artwork for years and years and years. And here’s the thing, it’s not even a good portrait! So, finally coming to the realization that I have wonderful photos of them and even more wonderful memories of them, it’s ok for both that and a very bad portrait of my mom, as well, to go away, and it’s not nearly as sacrilegious as it feels. It will still give me a twinge and a gulp, but into the dumpster they go.
So, our strategy is to be ruthless, be merciless, and work with speed. On the other hand, I can tell you right now — my mom’s honeymoon shoes will not be in the pile. Some memories you just can’t toss. Wish us luck!